you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This baby is an asshole
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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