my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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