if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You're earring is so big in my mouth
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
