Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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