everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize