just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need a burrito and a hug.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
