do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
