Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she looked like the before picture.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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