let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
