turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The air taste purple.
Randomize
