My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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