Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
