There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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