dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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