Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
