First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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