omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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