I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize