Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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