Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize