I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
