I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
