To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
