I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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