I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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