i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.