so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.