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Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Randomize
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