The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.