I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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