I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I believe in your delicious
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
