So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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