He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pants are for mortals
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize