he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
