two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
