how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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