Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
