Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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