i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
