do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
