Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
