I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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