when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
