just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I still have a little drunk in my system
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
