I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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