I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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