mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize