I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
