i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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