Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize