I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Semen is not good for contacts.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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