I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
