And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize