Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
