I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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