what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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