Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
