She said her name was "party"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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