I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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