Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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