I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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