Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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