He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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