He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
