Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
